


Rude Awakening: Prologue: In the Beginning

by DIsaac (Allstar20032)



Series: Rude Awakening [1]
Category: Daria - Fandom
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-11
Updated: 2011-12-11
Packaged: 2017-10-27 05:01:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/291848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allstar20032/pseuds/DIsaac





	1. How did I get here?

  
**PART 1: How did we get here?**   


 

"Explain again why we do this? I remember that verbal tear down that we gave two of them in high school", Said Daria Morgendorffer, Smiling with that Mona Lisa smile that everyone knows so well.

"Well for one they pay well really well for us to just talk and for some strange reason they happen to like us.", said her co-host and long time friend, Jane Lane

"Ready to do this, ladies" I said

"Ok"

"Amiga, you got that intro button on your computer."

"Oh"

as she figures out which one is it? "the one that say intro, duh" I say joking with her

"I should know that after all these year"

_The number #1 Morning show in the City is on the air! This is Rude Awakening with Daria and Jane on NOW 98.5FM, Your Hit Music Station._   
**  
**

Now, stop and think for a sec? How did Daria Morgendoffer and Jane Lane end up on the radio and hosting a Hit Morning show?

Well, I can answer that. You see I'm the producer of the show. My name is Jenny Burns or Burnout as you hear a lot around here. You may of remember my previous show, Bing and the Spatula Man or "Mental in the Morning". Well Last I heard ,They're over at a classic hits station in Omaha,NE. I didn't move to the show for a good reason...... A very good reason.

Flashback time!

"Let's call our stuntgirl, Burnout", Bing said to me as I'm standing in a parking lot at 6:35am in the morning.

_I soooo Hate you two._

"Hey, Bing we are standing at Mall of the Millennium and we are about to something reeeaaally stupid!" saying this with that yakking Old-school DJ Voice I had to learn. That I hate using it with a passion that burns white hot.

_I'm already doing something stupid with my life by standing in this damn parking lot as it is._

"We are going pull some prank on air and have some fun!"

_Oh it's fun for you, but i hate you two with a passion that only death along can still! What am I saying, this is HELL! I hate my life._

"Back to you, Bing"

_Get bent, Bing! You....  
_  
Woahh. wait a sec there. Enough with me and now to the stars of the shows. Now, Daria and Jane both went to school in Boston and......

Wait they know that part?

And they know which schools they when to?

BFAC and Raft?

OK, So I can fast forward to the main parts?

Cool. That saves me a lot of work there.

Daria "accidentally" ended up on radio. Her words not mines. She took English and Journalism. Both Major and gradated Summa Cum Laude. Yeah, She is that smart and Yeah, she is that good on air. But as you know and as I remember well. She is not for public speaking or speaking in general. So what in the hell is she doing Morning Radio in a Large mark like Boston?

Some call it fate intervening or It just laughing at her on her expense. She really thought it was the latter.......That was.... until I told her some "Mental in the Morning" Horror stories. She now views this moment as a good thing. I thought she would see it my way.

Time to flashback to day that Radio met Daria.

"When they said Interning at 98.5 WHUB It would be fun. I knew it was with too much of a straight face they were saying that.", Daria was saying this while pulling out a paper jam in the printer for what felt like the 623th time today.

 

"Ah, The life of a intern."

"DARIA!" 

The dude that just called Daria to his office is the Program Director, Rally Lewis. He plays a MAJOR role with Daria and Jane's careers. 

"Ouch, dammit. I hate that damn printer from hell. Well If he pulls something, I can at least pay for Raft"

Well she when to the office she was expecting to be told off but what was about happen leads to why she is here today.

Rally started. "Daria, You know when I said you get a opportunity to use those skills you have learned over your years of learning and the few weeks here at WHUB I really wasn't kidding"

"Umm, I thought you said that to all the interns"

"Yeah, but most of them are dumb idiots that doesn't even have a hell chance of being in radio and plus they are a little creepy, too"

"Ok? But, How is that going to help me here?"

"Let me get to the point. Daria, WHUB wants you to join our team. I'm offering you. Overnights 12 to 5"

"Huh? Wait. Let me get this straight? You are offering me a job here?" To say Daria was shocked by this news was a understatement of epic proportions

"Yes and I am not crazy, stupid or dumb for offering this to you”, Rally said with a smile

"WHUB Overnight 12-5? I might be slapping myself later, but I'm a college student and I need the money. Ok, You got me."

"Welcome to the team, Morgendorffer!"

  
"Author, Journalist and now Late Night talk show host? Damn, Morgendorffer, you got to stop putting yourself in those positions." She thought as she walked away.

At this time I was the producer of Mental in the Morning. Keyword there is "WAS"

You remember earlier when was said thought that last part?

_Get bent, Bing! You...._

Well on that last part I didn't think the last part. I said it out loud. Really out loud!

"Get bent, Bing and you too, Henry! F** You two braying Jackass. For years I have to hear your epic stupidity. Lawndale, these F**ing ingrates can't tell there head from there fat ass. I'm sorry but I'm done with you bastards. I have given my letter of resignation two weeks ago. so F*** you, Bing and F*** you, Henry. Lawndale, I love you all but It's time. Peace out."

And I left out some of the good stuff, too and If you are wondering.... did I have job in my back pocket. It was as a Producer here at WHUB in Boston on the overnights.

 

  
****  
  
  
  



	2. Meeting the Cynic or How my nickname followed me to Boston?

  
I started here for my first week with the station about the same day as Daria was starting here on air. She was nervous of course. You have to be nervous when it's your first time on radio

  
DARIA:  
Well, I see I have help on this show."

BURNOUT:  
Are you Daria?

DARIA  
Yes, I am but who are you?

BURNOUT:  
I'm your Producer, Jenny Burns. I'll be over there at the board helping you out and making you sound good.

DARIA:  
OK, Jenny. I'm nervous as hell, but I'm ready to go. Hey, Jenny?

BURNOUT:  
Yeah!

DARIA:  
I got a person that could make this day go better.

BURNOUT:  
I got my OWN person that make this day go better, too.

DARIA:  
Quick, favorite artist?

BURNOUT:  
Bob Marley!

DARIA:  
That explains a lot. Actually that explain a whole lot. Before I left Lawndale, I heard this girl on the radio doing Mental In the Morning...

BURNOUT:  
That was me.

DARIA:

What happened?

BURNOUT:  
I tore then a new one after joining WHUB.

DARIA:  
How bad was it?

BURNOUT:  
Ever heard of the phrase 'and not a F was giving that day.' I gave them plenty of F's that day. It was that bad.

DARIA:  
Damn, you burn them out and on live radio too. I did that before to them as well."

BURNOUT:  
I remember that day very well. I was there. Lawndale High Class of 2000!

DARIA:  
Me too.......Unfortunately. I still wish that I hit Li with that Fossey statue they gave me.

BURNOUT:  
Oh, They arrest her for embezzlement, racketeering, and some drug dealing charges.

DARIA:  
Funny, racketeering and volunteering. I personally thought it was the same thing.

BURNOUT:  
I think she did too. When Lawndale found out how much stole; It's was in the mid 8-figures.... I remember that very well. Let's just say it wasn't good for her. The whole town of Lawndale wish they had Dian Fossey trophies of there own to bash her in with, and Mental in the Morning was there to supply them. One of My best bits ideas ever.

DARIA:  
Damn, You know what. We will use Jenny on-air If you want, But to us on the show you are Burnout Burns"

  
And that is the story of how my nickname followed me to Boston, MA. You would think I would hate it. But here I was given the name not to be made fun of me but as a term of endearment and respect. That was also when I realized that what I did in Lawndale didn't matter. This was a new beginning. So where did Jane Lane, enter in this picture?


	3. Breaking a few eggs to make it happen

 

At this point in the story. We have the producer of the show in place, Me of course, One half of The Best Morning Show in New England, Daria Morgendorffer, but the was missing spark that make this show move was missing. 

This is how Jane Lane became the second half of the show. Also, This is how a Mystik Spiral CD and a phone call got her here doing The Morning job at WHUB

The show had just premiered a year and a half ago on WHUB. We were an alternative rock station at the time. Don't ask why but the station really wasn't getting any traction (It was the playlist Daria for the most part ignored it with it and it seem if Daria couldn't try to get listener to stay with the station. they loved Daria but not the station in particular.  


 

  
DARIA: 

God what is up with all the weirdos calling at this hour." I said to Daria after the 7th drunk caller.  


BURNOUT:  
"They are funny, free and, cheap entertainment for me plus the rowdy one are easy verbal takeout, too. I got Jane on Line 2"  


DARIA:  
Patch her into studio.  


JANE:  
(Off-screen and On the Phone)  
How graveyard radio working out, Misery Chick. 

DARIA

When your up at this late hour It just seem that people are just stupider.  


JANE:  
Alcohol and lack of sleep do a really funny number on people as heard on your show. I'm Enjoying it by the way. Plus, If they had more braincells they would be artist or writers", Jane cracked back.  


DARIA  
Isn't that a insult on us, artists AND writers?  


JANE:  
It is the profession that gave Hemingway, Van Googh and Cobain?  


DARIA:  
Aren't they ALL dead?  


JANE:  
Yea, But the shift your working on. You should be able to see them all  


  
At that very moment, a light bulb when off in my head and I thought, These two together would make a hell of a show for WHUB and get the station over the hump. 

  


BURNOUT: 

Hey, Daria!  


DARIA  
Yeah, Burnout?  


BURNOUT:  
Jane should be here on this show. Think about it for a second  


DARIA:  
The show goes a hell of a lot faster with Jane on it. Jane, If we can get together New England to get Jane Lane on WHUB would you be down for it? 

JANE:

Awesome Idea. I'm down for it.  


DARIA:  
We try to get Rally to give her an audition with Daria.  


JANE:  
"Trent has been trying to get me to drop off his new Mystik Spiral CD to the station"  


DARIA  
I see. 

Use the sis and the friend who happen to host WHUB's overnight show. Okay we got a plan in place.  


BURNOUT:  
(RELUCTANTLY)  
Daria, I got a friend that could help but I need you to make that call  


DARIA:  
"Who is it?"  


BURNOUT:  
She's the news director and General Manager at Channel 5.  


DARIA  
Who?  


BURNOUT:  
Sandi Griffin.  


DARIA:  
How do you know, Sandi?  


BURNOUT:  
I use to work for her at WLND. She was the News Director there and damn good at it, too. WLND was the #1 News station in the Baltimore market for years. She is now at WNEB as the ND and GM there.  


DARIA:  
OK, get Griffin at channel 5 on aboard on this and it may work. 

 

  


 

  
She was unsure of what to expect with making that call. Well she did end up making the call. According to Daria, It was rough call to do. 

 

 

  
DARIA:  
Why I got to make the call to her? OK, here we go.  


  
Daria, looked at that phone like it was radioactive, but If she wanted a helping hand with this plan she just going to have to grin and bear it.  


DARIA:  
(After picking up and dialing the number) 

"Hello, is Sandi Griffin available? She is. OK. I'll wait."

In the offices of Channel 5 in Boston, Sandi Griffin, the GM and News Director at WNEB, Picks up 

 

SANDI: 

"He-llloo"  


DARIA:  
"This is Daria Morgendorffer at WHUB 98.5. My Producer, Jennifer Burns, told me you wanted to talk to me."  


SANDI:  
"Yes, I absolutely wanted to talk to you. From what your producer tell me you got some power at WHUB"  


DARIA:  
"Well sorta." 

Oh, I forgot to mention this part. They promoted her that week to being in charge of the music for the station so she DID have some pull around there. OK, so it only a tiny bit of pull. But, it was pull! 

 

  
DARIA:  
What do you need?  


SANDI:  
Rally has stubborn on us being media partners  


DARIA:  
But, Sandi, WHUB have had a partner for years as far as I know. It's been CBS 4",  


SANDI:  
But there contract is coming up and your station is need of a good, strong, promotional push. I've seen your station ratings and yours as well.  


DARIA: 

(A LITTLE ANGRY)  
"What do mean MY ratings?"  


SANDI:  
Well, If you have to ask. Your show is the ONLY reason people are listening to that station if at all, Plus your show triple the ratings of any other show on WHUB. You usually average a 10.2 share of the city. You beat some Top 5 stations whole-day numbers on a regular! WHUB During the day only a gets 3.5 share of the city"  


DARIA:  
Damn, I didn't even realized that. They really are hiding a lot of info from me around here.  


SANDI:  
I think they are hiding that fact because If you knew that, You would be half way out ofthe door going to a better station in the market. Like WNEB-FM for example."  


DARIA;  
Hmm, Well Sandi, we will try to get channel 5 as Our station's media partner. 

If you can help us promote something  


SANDI:  
"I'm not asking for 'try.' I asking for 'will!' What do you got on the table that going make me say yes?"  


DARIA:  
We got a new host we are trying add on to the show 

and we would like your station to help promote it  


SANDI:  
What in it for me?  


DARIA:  
I tell him WNEB Channel 5 wants WHUB-FM to be a powerful combination and I will work to make it happen, Deal?  


SANDI  
"Deal. Do your part and we will do our part to make it happen."  


DARIA:  
Goodbye. 

 

SANDI:  
Bye, Quinn's Cousin.  


DARIA: 

(AFTER HANGING UP)  
What do I really feel dirty after just doing that now?

  
I told Daria to call Sandi for that reason. Sandi may have be a bitch and a Type A personality, but she is driven as hell and she know the media market better then anyone else in this city. I wanted her to give her the message that Daria was getting screwed royally by WHUB and should be having a confrontation with Rally. Well she did her research and got her facts together to nail him hard. 

DARIA:  
(sternly)  
Rally, we need to talk.  


RALLY:  
Daria, I'm happy to talk about talk about anything you want. You're a valued member of WHUB family. 

 

_Rally said all of this with a fake smile as he was trying desperately to wiggle out of the conversation._   


 

DARIA:  
Rally, What are the ratings for our show?"  


RALLY:  
(Stumbling) 

It's really big number for us.  


DARIA:  
What is the number, Rally?  


RALLY  
(Sighing deeply) 

10.5

 

DARIA:  
Ok, A starting point. What is the station's current ratings? 

RALLY:

3.7 and trending down.  


  
_Now squirming in the seat he was in as it felt like red hot coals to him. Morgendorffer, was now smelling some blood in the water and made her pitch._   


 

DARIA:  
WHUB has been look for a strong Morning Show for years, right?  


  
_All poor Rally could do was shake his head and agree with her._   


 

DARIA:  
I love WHUB and all, but putting your main rating grabber in the Overnights is well....... an move that only people with ferrets running through there head would only make. But you, Rally. You are a really smart man. You would move your main attraction to the station to mornings  


RALLY:  
What the hell do want!  


DARIA:  
I WANT MORNINGS YOU DUMBASS! I want to with the do it with the same producer that have given us success. I want to add a host that be reverent and funny.Plus, I was ask to sent this message from WNEB that they would like to air its weather forecast here. Also, they want promote the hell out of this station and they are willing to put good money to make it happen.  


RALLY:  
(calmed down and thought for a second) 

You didn't have to call me a dumbass, but I was acting like one then. So free pass there. You have done things with Overnights I thought couldn't be done. The number don't lie, you are golden in Boston. I am going to let you do the mornings 5am -10am and let you put this together. If this fails to get the numbers that I expected out of this. Your ass is grass but To be truthful to you, I got a feeling this will work."

  
JANE  
(pops in seeing her and the boss of the station standing there)  
"Hey, Daria, You ask me to drop this CD off at the station? 

DARIA:  
Sit on down, Jane. How would like to NOT to be a Starving artist?

That is the beginning of this crazy show we called "Rude Awakening with Daria and Jane" came into existence. You see we kid around a lot on the show. The station's name? It is still WHUB 98.5FM. and we still play Rock like nobody business. The Now 98FM is a jab at a across town station that plays pop music. Crazy right? But back on topic, We are the #1 Morning Show in the city by a huge number! The station has never sounded better with Daria and Jane controlling the playlist and the cast of characters around here you'll know them soon enough.


	4. The Crew of 98.5 WHUB in Boston

_I'm gonna tell you a story  
I'm gonna tell you about my town  
I'm gonna tell you a big bad story, baby  
Aww, it's all about my town_

The Standells - "Dirty Water"

  
Our team what can I say about them? We rule Boston radio. Yea, you met Daria and Jane, Our morning team, But not the rest of our weird cast.

Meet, Our Midday host, Robert Sanchez, He comes on after our show. How do I describe him? He came with the station, but man oh man, he can charm anyone. Maybe that's why he's a legend with the station. If your wondering If he wanted the morning spot. He didn't. He said,

 

"I love NOT waking up at the buttcrack of morning and just rolling at 8 or 9 in the morning. IT'S AWESOME!"

 

As you can tell he's where he want to be. Radio, the only place where he WANT or CAN GET to get gainful employment at. We agree as well. 

Now to the afternoon DJ, Stacy Rowe, Oh you didn't recognize her with her hair down?

 

"Oh sorry, I didn't notice you there, welcome to WHUB."

 

Don't worry I didn't either when we first met at this station. She is the second biggest........ well, Trouble maker in Boston. "Wait, I don't cause in Boston. Not If they can prove. Which they can't." When Rowe hit the town, WATCH OUT! Really I mean it WATCH OUT! she'll knock out anyone who do or says something about her friends wrong. Good thing we are ALL her friends at this station. She is still the sweetest, nicest person you will ever meet but she is nobody's fool anymore.

If Rowe was #2 in trouble making, Our night DJ Dani Moreno is criminale number one. Note: I said criminale, She is the sis of Jesse Moreno, The rhythmic guitarist of Mystik Spiral, who first hit "Every Dog Has It Day" was first played here! Thank god she works nights! Boston. You wouldn't be able to handle her at ALL. She has gotten into more bar fights then anyone I know and there is a rule at this station too. Rowe and Moreano; NEVER TOGETHER! They cause one of the biggest bar fight in Boston history. A lot people went through tables that night. That was one of the craziest night of my life.

 

"Oh, The craziest night was when I......."

 

Wait its not THAT type of story, Dani.

 

"Uhhhhh, Nevermind"

 

Ok. Moving on.

This is Charlie Upchuck or Government name, Charles Ruttheimer III, but on air, it's Charlie Upchuck. He's the one that took over Daria's Late night slot. He is the prototypical sleazy DJ. Hits on everything he see, say the most rudest things to women and has been on Dateline NBC's To Catch a Predator, Twice! Ok, so I made up that part there. But he has been banned at couple of "Gentleman's" bar in New England.

 

"They unfairly did it too!"

 

Upchuck, You know the rules you don't bother the talent, geezh. Actually, he needs to follow that rule everywhere he goes in New England. But I digress.

All these crazy characters are why people listen to WHUB 98.5 and I'm proud to work here. We maybe weird but that why people love us because they love that dirty water..Down by the river Charles..Oh, Boston, you're my home and WHUB, your my soundtrack to it.

  
(END)


End file.
